


Part Of Your Symphony

by felixfrckls



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is Whipped, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Presents, Canon Compliant, Cheesy, Felix's Birthday, Fluff, Idols, M/M, Matching Gifts, Short & Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, this is so cheesy i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26530288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixfrckls/pseuds/felixfrckls
Summary: Chan knew how emotional Felix could get in front of a present — grateful from the bottom of his heart — but, this year, he was still somehow reluctant to give him his gift. This had never happened before, Chan always taking full pride in his ability to find the best gift and never once doubting that Felix might not like it. However, something was different this time and Chan’s nervousness was reaching peaks he hadn’t felt in quite a while.(or, Chan is scared his birthday present for Felix might be too much)
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 18
Kudos: 295





	Part Of Your Symphony

**Author's Note:**

> Happy late birthday to Felix <3

Chan could quite confidently say that he was more excited for the members’ birthdays than they were.

They had seen him run around the dorm multiple times just to find the perfect spot to hide one of their gifts. By now, they shouldn’t even have been surprised, but they still were on the floor laughing every time Chan panicked just because he was sure his secret hiding spot was too easy to find. Well aware that all of the boys loved and respected the others equally, none of them ever got offended when Chan was unofficially nominated the best at giving gifts among them and he took great pride in that.

It was rather amusing that the one member who disliked being treated to dinner for his own birthday was also the one that was so excited when the others’ special day came. His friends had tried so many times to organize something to celebrate him, but they had long understood that, for Chan, his birthday was just like any other day of the year and, if he could spend it with the people he loved, then it was more than enough. A movie night, relaxing all together was better for him than any other expensive gift could ever be — he had always disliked the idea of the members spending money on him. 

That, however, didn’t mean he didn’t like to do the same for them. He always listened carefully for hints, things that his friends may have mentioned once in passing and he loved the surprised look on their faces when they realized someone had actually listened to them. The members were not the materialist kind of people at all, far from it, but they couldn't hide the fact that they liked to be spoiled from time to time. 

Chan knew how, among all of them, Felix loved presents more than anyone but it was more complex than just that — Felix didn’t simply like gifts, he liked the thoughts behind them. He didn’t want expensive objects or popular brands, it simply made him happy to know that someone would go out of their way, think of him even for a minute during their own busy day and find something that they thought was fitting. 

Chan knew how emotional Felix could get in front of a present — grateful from the bottom of his heart — but, this year, he was still somehow reluctant to give him his gift. This had never happened before, Chan always taking full pride in his ability to find the best gift and never once doubting that Felix might not like it. However, something was different this time and Chan’s nervousness was reaching peaks he hadn’t felt in quite a while.

Even with the beginning of promotions for their new comeback and everything the group had organized for Jisung’s birthday, they still found the time to celebrate Felix’s special day too, just as it should be. As clueless as Chan could sometimes get, even for him it was impossible not to notice the confusion written all over Felix’s face every time he couldn’t maintain eye contact for more than a few seconds before he broke it, suddenly feeling shy. 

For the whole day, Felix had been trying to understand what was going on with Chan. The older couldn’t really blame him either, not only had he made no attempt to give him his present yet — usually the first one to do as soon as they were awake in the morning — but he was also trying to spend as less time with him as possible. He hated knowing that Felix was getting worried because of him — and on his special day of all days — but he just couldn’t find it in himself to explain to him what was going on quite yet.

More than once during the day, Chan had found himself thinking that he could just run to the store as soon as they had a break, return the gift he had bought Felix and change it with something less...obvious. However, one part of him — the most reasonable and rational one — couldn’t just accept that because, deep down, he knew Felix was going to love his gift, he was just scared of the consequences. Unfortunately, the members couldn’t know how much he was struggling with something that was genuinely so silly and questioned him about it when, unlucky as he was, Felix could easily hear what they were talking about.

They were backstage, ready to pre-record their performance as their make up artists finished with the last touch-ups. “Hyung, what did you get for Felix’s birthday? I don’t think he mentioned it,” Jisung asked, genuinely curious. He was sure he was going to hear Felix gush about the amazing present Chan had got him for the whole day but, Chan's weird behaviour and Felix’s silence were not something he was familiar with. 

From the corner of his eyes, Chan could see Felix straighten his back. Knowing the boy, Felix was against the idea of intruding on their privacy and he knew he wasn’t supposed to listen to that conversation, but it was hard when he couldn’t move anywhere else. In other circumstances, Chan would have probably told Jisung the truth, trusting the younger to understand his struggle but, with Felix listening, he simply couldn't. “I've been so busy with the preparation for the comeback that I haven't managed to buy him anything yet,” Chan lied, trying to keep a straight face so not to give himself away. 

Jisung too seemed surprised — never once had it happened that Chan hadn’t found the time to prepare something for their birthdays. However, the last few months had been rather stressful and Jisung sure wasn’t going to blame Chan for having other things on his mind. “Have you had the chance to tell him yet? You haven’t exactly acted as your usual selves around each other today,” Jisung questioned again, completely oblivious of the way Felix’s body tensed at the same time Chan's did. If there was one thing that Chan and all the members disliked was tension between them and, despite knowing that he could have handled the situation in a better way, for some reason, it still felt like it was a much bigger problem than it actually was.

As Felix heard Chan come up with more excuses to why, no, he didn’t have the time to tell him yet, he came to the conclusion that Chan had acted so weirdly around him since that morning simply becuase he felt bad about not having a gift ready. If he could just have one second with Chan, Felix would have apologized for putting so much pressure on him and making him believe that he was in any way getting offended or mad at him if he didn’t get a present. He _would have_ done so if Chan hadn't run away from him every time there was the slightest chance of them being alone for more than a few seconds. 

On the other hand, unbeknownst to the guilt eating Felix up, Chan was overthinking the whole thing more and more with each passing second until he realised that he really only had two options. He could either muster some courage and finally gave Felix his gift and the explanation it came with, or he could keep lying straight to Felix’s face and, once again, pretend as if he really had nothing for him — promising to make it up to him when he could. After much thought, his head full of contrasting thoughts making it hard to focus on anything else, he came to the conclusion that it was Felix he was so afraid of.

Felix, who blushed when someone called him sunshine, despite fans doing it all of the time. Felix, who would rather ignore his own needs and health if it meant making sure that his friends were doing well. Chan knew that he had nothing to worry about and, no matter how Felix decided to interpret his gift, he would never let things get awkward between them. Being aware of this didn’t make talking to Felix any easier, his mind still obsessing over each and every picture of all the worst-case scenarios that could happen. However, as scared and nervous as he was, he couldn’t just keep pretending that seeing Felix’s confused and sad expression wasn’t breaking his heart as well.

“Lix, can I talk to you?” Chan finally found the courage to ask. He cringed when he noticed it was nine in the evening — so many hours of Felix’s birthday already spent ignoring him, but now he couldn’t keep doing that. They were back at the dorms, the managers giving them the afternoon off so that they could go live and let Stays congratulate Felix and their new comeback. Chan had watched Felix shine, so happy to have all the boys giving him affection and love, but he could also see that there was a spark in his eyes missing and he couldn’t bear the idea of being the cause of that.

If Chan wasn’t as nervous as he was, he would have chuckled at the pure relief washing over Felix as soon as Chan had asked him to talk. “Of course,” Felix simply agreed, following Chan to the only room in the dorm that was currently empty and that was Chan's own. Even though the older had finally decided to say the truth, it didn’t mean that he was in any way eager to do so and the silence that soon fell between them was a clear hint of just that. When it became unbearable, Felix finally broke it. “Look, it’s okay if you didn’t get me anything. I didn’t mean to make you, or any of the boys, feel like you had to in the first place. I would never be upset over something like this,” Felix tried to reassure him, sure that the reason why Chan was so not-himself around him was because of what he had heard him telling Jisung. “Besides, I know you’re really busy and—” Felix pushed some more but never managed to finish his sentence.

“I did get you something,'' Chan interrupted, so abruptly that silence fell over them again for a few seconds but then, with a calming breath, he started again. “I lied to Jisung, I did buy you something for your birthday. I was just nervous to give it to you and tried to delay this moment as much as possible,'' Chan tried to explain himself, watching as Felix's expression was torn between confused and exasperatingly fond. “Hyung,” Felix started, not sure why Chan was so stressed, “it’s just me. We’ve known each other for a long time and I trust you, I'm sure I’ll love whatever you got me.''

Chan, despite the lump still very much present in his throat, felt oddly reassured and slowly moved to reach a small box sitting on his bedside table. It was wrapped in a yellow ribbon, a colour Chan had always told Felix it reminded him of him — Felix didn’t fail to notice and chuckle, a shy smile finding its way on Chan’s lips. “Happy birthday, Lix,” Chan said, finally handing Felix the gift and watching as the boy carefully undid the ribbon and opened the box. Before any word could leave the younger’s mouth, Chan could already read his reaction all over his face. The smile on Felix's lips was the brightest he had seen in a while and Chan realised that, simply at the sight of it, half of his worries had instantly disappeared.

Inside the box, there was a silver necklace, light and elegant with a key pendant right in the middle of it. On that same key, some numbers were engraved and Felix felt his eyes become wet when he recognized them as the day he had joined the company and was introduced to Chan. “Hyung, this is beautiful,” Felix whispered, touched not only by the gift but by the way Chan remembered that date with the same fondness as he did. However, he was slightly concerned when he noticed Chan had not relaxed at all, his hands fidgeting in that way they did when he didn’t know what to do with them. “It's not all,” Chan suddenly said, making Felix look up to focus on him again.

With still shaky hands, Chan showed Felix the necklace around his own neck, one Felix had not particularly paid attention to before because he was used to seeing Chan wearing a chain anyway. Now that he had the time to actually _look_ at it, Felix noticed how it looked very similar to the one still sitting in the box in his hands, the same light silver material catching the light — but the pedant was different. On Chan's necklace, a small lock was visible and, if Felix focused, he was sure he could see a date engraved there as well, more specifically, the day Chan had joined the company, years before Felix had. Even before Chan gave him any sort of explanation, Felix already had to rub his eyes to make sure he wouldn’t burst out crying at the realisation that Chan had got them matching necklaces — something Chan didn’t want to take off anytime soon apparently.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything and you don’t even have to wear it if you don’t want to,” Chan was quick to reassure, scared that he was coming off as too strong. In front of him, Felix unconsciously held the box tighter to his chest as if he was scared Chan could change his mind and take it away from him. “Every time someone finds out that we’re both from Australia, they think that I’ve been part of the reason why you’re the person you are today and gained so much confidence in yourself. Don’t get me wrong, you have told me that yourself and I know it is true, but I don’t think they, or you, realise I wouldn’t be the person that I am without you either.” As Chan started to pour out all that he had kept for himself, he couldn’t stop anymore. “Lix, you brought back to me a piece of home I was sure I had lost. I had got used to Korea, to being someone here...then you came along and, suddenly, all I was thinking about was the places in Sydney we both grew up in, the same accent we both have, the culture we’re both familiar with but I was almost forgetting.'' Felix wasn’t the only one who was getting emotional and the way Chan's voice was shaking forced him to stop for a second to take a deep breath before he could go on.

“As cheesy as it sounds, you have become my home away from home. I would be miserable without you, Felix, and this,” Chan said pointing to his necklace, “means that I wouldn't be me if it wasn’t for you. The day you joined this company you unlocked something in me, I'm still not sure what that something is but I know that if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a single thing because it brought me, us, exactly where we are today.” Felix was full-on crying, tears falling on his cheeks without a break and Chan had to admit he was not doing that much better. Before he could do anything, perhaps making sure that he had not said too much, he found himself with an armful of Felix, clinging to his body so tightly that it knocked his breath out. Nevertheless, he didn’t hesitate to wrap himself around the younger as well, the stress of the day melting away now that he was sure Felix was there with him. 

“Are you okay?” Chan whispered when Felix, after a few minutes, made no attempt to move away from the hug — not that it minded of course. “Just give me a second,” Felix mumbled, his head buried in the older’s shoulder with no intention to pull away from there. Chan chuckled but complied, carding his fingers through Felix's hair to make him relax even more. Reluctantly, Felix stepped back and finally made eye contact with Chan for what felt like the first time that day. “Why did you make me wait for so long for this? I thought I did something that upset you,” Felix pouted, honest now that there was nothing to hide anymore. “I'm sorry,” Chan apologized, ruffling the boy’s hair fondly, “I just thought this might have been too much or made you uncomfortable and I was doubting if it was the case to give this to you at all.”

Felix blinked slowly, his brows furrowing for the shortest of seconds. “Make me uncomfortable? Hyung, I highly doubt anything you will ever do could make me uncomfortable,” Felix said, so easily and simply that Chan had a hard time not believing him. “Now, put this on me?” the younger asked, handing Chan the box once again. The boy eyed it for a second, “Lix, you don't have to wear this just because I have mine on.” Chan didn’t want Felix to feel forced to do anything in any way and he was surprised when Felix scoffed, openly and loudly. “What are you talking about? I'm never taking this off,” the younger said and, as much as Chan could hear the light teasing in it, he knew it didn’t make it any less honest.

Felix turned around, a silent request for the older to do what he had asked him. When he felt the cold pendant resting on his warm skin, he couldn’t stop himself from touching it and smiled thinking of Chan’s matching one. As much as he tried, Felix couldn’t hide that smile before he was turning back to Chan again, but he figured it was okay as long as that smile, just as their necklaces, matched Chan's. “Since it’s still technically my birthday, can I ask for one more thing?” Felix asked, tiredness slowly making itself present but still not covering the glint in his eyes. Chan nodded eagerly, ready to do anything else that could make Felix’s birthday special after the mess he had created early on. “Can we cuddle?” Felix pouted, fluttering his eyelashes as if acting cute could change Chan's answer — he would have agreed even if the younger yelled at him.

Chan smiled shaking his head, “come on.” 

The more they talked, the more Chan realised how dumb he had been to think that Felix could have been uneasy or even mad with him for what he had wanted to tell him. Moving to Chan's bed, they didn’t hesitate to lie down as they had done countless times already and, with a relieved sigh, relaxed completely. They were both lying on their sides, too lazy to close the curtains, finding it hard to get up now that the warmth of the other was all over them. Even in the dark, Chan could see how Felix's eyes were trained to the lock on his necklace, his fingers gently caressing it. “The same goes for me, you know,” Felix suddenly whispered, “when I feel homesick, I know I can always come to you because you feel like home as much as my family does. I might have struggled to get where I am right now, but I would gladly go through that again if it meant being able to debut by your side and share this with you.'' Felix's voice was nothing more than a whisper in the dark, shared secrets between them that were not even secrets anymore. Chan could understand why his words had moved Felix so much earlier because he felt just the same now, close to tears again.

“Stop being sappy,” Chan whispered, so fondly that Felix knew exactly what Chan was trying to do and he let him. “Says the one who got us matching necklaces,” he pointed out with no bite behind the words. After all, he wasn’t joking when he said that he was not planning to stop wearing that necklace anytime soon. With nothing else left to be said, Felix cuddled closer to Chan's chest, resting his head right where his heart was beating, the sound so constant and calming that it lulled him to sleep in no time. Chan's arms wrapped around Felix as their legs intertwined, no inch left between their bodies. “Happy birthday, Lix,” Chan said one last time before dropping a lingering kiss on the top of the younger’s head. His eyes closed and, for the first time in a while, his brain shut up as well, letting him fall into a deep sleep filled with warmness and love.

In months, when they could perform on a stage again, he would see Felix's necklace shine under the spotlights, a constant reminder of who they were to each other.

A reminder that they’re bond was real, it came from the bottom of both their hearts.

But, Chan figured they didn’t need a necklace for that, it was written in their eyes already.

**Author's Note:**

> this was so bad i'm so sorry i have been stuck for the longest time :( Have a great day and PLEASE STREAM BACK DOOR IF YOU CAN ^^  
> i'm always up for a talk @  
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